The Search for a Candidate
by QBleach1
Summary: Well, let's see who Q decides to torture this time with her many questions! T for Language.
1. Table of Contents

**HOLA! :D It's Q here, and this is my first attempt at anything even supposed to be remotely funny! Let's see how much I epically fail XD Anyways, hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own Bleach or any of its characters.**

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**Table of Contents!**

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Case 1: Madarame Ikkaku (What friggin order does his name even GO in anyways?)

Case 2: Kurosaki Ichigo (Yeah, I decided to bust him out early. Ichigo REALLY knows how to piss me off! D:)

Case 3: Ichimaru Gin (OMG ITS GIN-CHAN! KYAAAAAAAAAHHHH! *Faints*)

Case 4: Hirako Shinji (*Gasp* Hes soooo sexy with long hair!)

Case 5: Shunsui Kyouraku (MUAHAHAHA)

Case 6: Kuchiki Byakuya** (Coming Soon)**

Q: Enjoy! *Evil grin*

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**Tell me who you think is best by reviewing or sending me a message**!

**Also, don't forget to ask the characters questions or cook up some embarrassing nicknames and/or situations to put them into! (You will be credited)**


	2. Case 1: Ikkaku Madarame

**Okay, here we go, first attempt at something somewhat funny. Let's see how it goes XD Anyways, Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo, and all that crap. It's rated T for language, I didn't really bother to tone it down at all, sorry. If it bothers you say something and I will.**

**This actually started as me just making little spoofs to see what would be best if I did my own Q&A thing with one of the characters... But then I saved one O_O So here it is . (I liketh da faces!)**

**Tell me what you think! R&R! I know it's probably crappy but I'm not too experienced at this humor stuff yet. Yet. I will get better! Anyways, let me know who you think I should do next!**

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The Search for a Candidate: Part 1

Ikakku: *Dances* Lu-lu-lu-lu-lu-LUCKEEEE! Lucky Lucky Lucky! Lu-lu-lu-LUCKEEEE! *Jumps and lands*

Q: What the hell are you doing?

Ikakku: I'm dancing my lucky dance!

Q:*Sighs* Someone, come here and kick this guys ass… Plleeeaaase? *Looks at Editor*

Editor: Don't look at meee!

Ikakku: I'm so Lucky! Lucky, lucky, lucky!

Q: Why are you lucky? *Hates to ask*

Ikakku: I- HEY!

Q: What?

Ikakku: YOUR SPELLING MY NAME WRONG, DAMN YOU!

Q: Teehee! I did that on purpose! :P

Ikakku: SPELL IT RIGHT!

Q: *Sighs* fine…. Now, for our first question…..

Ikkaku: *Muttering* Lucky Lucky Lucky!

Q: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO DAMN HAPPY!

Ikkaku: Rangiku invited me to go drinking~! LUCKY!

Q: *Mutters* Alright, for our first question…

Ikkaku: *Waving sword around*

Q: Why do you have makeup on?

Ikkaku: Iiiiittttssss nooooot MAKEUP! *Does freaky pose*

Q: Yes, it is. *Points to the red crap on his eyes*

Ikkaku: Noooo, it's warriors paint!

Q: *Facepalms* GO! *Points to door*

Case Ikakku Conclusion: Too stupid and happy, and obsessed with Rangiku. Nice guest, though.

Ikakku: HEY!

Q: *Pissed* WHAT!

Ikakku: YOUR SPELLING MY NAME WRONG AGAIN!

Case Ikkaku Conclusion 2: Name too damn hard to spell


	3. Case 2: Kurosaki Ichigo

**Okay, next chapter! I was gonna wait, but I caved and put it up anyways... So, here you go! Enjoy! (It's probably a lot better than the Ikkaku one XD)**

**Anyways, after Gin I have NO idea who to do next... So, uh, heeelp! -_-**

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Q: Alright, Ichigo, let's get formalities out of the way first.

Ichigo: Uh, alright.

Q: Can I call you Strawberry-head?

Ichigo: Hell no, why would I wanna let you call me that!

Q: Carrot-top!

IChigo: Hell. No.

Q: Orangey!

Ichigo: NO FREAKIN WAY!

Q: *Sighs* All right…. Strawberry-head

Ichigo: *eye twitch*

Q: Onto our First…. I mean, 4th question.

Ichigo: Is that ALL your gonna do!

Q: I'M THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS, DAMMIT!

Ichigo: WELL, ASK THEN!

Q: Okay, why are you so weakass all the time!

Ichigo: _Your_ calling _me_ weakass!

Q: Yes I am.

Ichigo: What the hell- You've got some nerve, being a little brat like you are and all

Q: *Eye twitch* Your only like 2 years older than me!

Ichigo: Shorty.

Q: *Pissed* LIKE HELL YOU WOULD KNOW ANYTHING! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

Ichigo: I'm not the one who scored a D in PE

Q: *Flinches* Yeah, well at least I can use Kido!

Ichigo: I've never even been taught at kido!

Q: Well then watch and learn! Hakudo 36 - Shokuho! *Red flash of light explodes in her face*

Ichigo: *Smirks* you can use kido, my ass!

Q: *Pissed* GET OUT!

Ichigo: *Mutters* Weird little brat… *Leaves*

Q: I HEARD THAT!

Case Ichigo: Q and Ichigo got too pissed at each other. Also, his zanpakuto is too big-ass for him to sit down in a chair properly. Q also didn't appreciate his comments on her height. Or her grades, for that matter.


	4. Case 3: Ichimaru Gin

**Heehee so here it is! Please continue to send me some more messages! I'm trying my best! xD Gin-chan, all the way! R&R :3**

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Gin: So, whatcha want me here for?

Q: OMG! *BLUSH*

Gin: Uh…

Q: *Gasps* Sorrry!

Gin: Sure, sure.

Q: So, uh, first question *Struggling to hold back fangirl madness*

Gin: *Creepy smile*

Q: KYAAAAAAAAA! It's his smile!

Gin: *Smiles even wider*

Q:…. Okay… First question…. WHY ARE YOU SO F*CKING HOT!

Gin: Well, uh, tha's a matter of 'pinion.

Q: It's my opinion!

Gin: I don't know…

Q: Why is your hair so sexy!

Gin: Because I use Silky Sexy hair product

Q: OMG ME 2!

Q: Take off your shirt!

Gin: Hey, hey, that wasn't a question

Q: No, it was a dare! TAKE IT OFF!

Gin: Nah, I'd rather not.

Q: *Rips off shirt and faints*

Gin: I guess I was too sexy for her.

Q: *Suddenly awake* DAMN RIGHT!

** Q'S ACTIONS ARE CENSORED FOR MATURE CONTENT **

Case Gin: Too sexy and distracting. Q will pass out of he smiles at her again.

Gin: Hehe, nice ta meetcha too.

Q: *Passes out*

Case Gin: TOOOOO DAMN SEXY! KYAAAA!

Editor: Why do I deal with this every day? *Facepalms*


	5. Case 4: Hirako Shinji

**Well... That took soooo long to upload... I'm so sorry! Anyways, here it is... Remember to ask my next guest questions... (And of course you get to find out who that is at the end!)**

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The search for a Candidate Case 4: Hirako Shinji

Q: Welcome, Shinji!

Shinji: Do you never use suffixes?

Q: No, of course not!

Shinji: Why?

Q: Because I don't feel like it!

Shinji: … Okay, fine then.

Q: Okay, first question!

Shinji: *Sighs* Go ahead, kid.

Q: *Face reddens* I AM NOT A DAMN KID!

Shinji: Well, you look like one.

Q: *Shakes her head* Why did you cut your hair?

Shinji: Huh? Oh, it was too long. It was getting in the way.

Q: But it was s- …..awesome!

Shinji: That's not what you were about to say. *Smirks*

Q: *Turns redder* Maybe…. But, uh, it doesn't matter what I was going to say!

Editor: Sheee thinks your sexy! *Dances* REVENGE!

Q: YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO TALK!

Shinji: *Amused*

Q: I have a dare for you!

Shinji: … Uh-oh…

Q: Sing - Too Sexy!

Shinji:

I'm, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so se-

I'M NOT DOING THIS!

Q: But you are too sexy for your shirt!

Shinji: *Facepalms*

Q: Can you grow your hair out?

Shinji: No.

Q: Can you put on a wig?

Shinji: No.

Q: Can you…. Smile?

Shinji: No.

Q: Can you-

Shinji: *Interrupts* No.

Q: Why!

Shinji: No.

Q: GRRR! I take it back, you are NOT too sexy for your shirt!

Editor: You don't mean that…

Q: *Glares* Of course I don't. Shinji is always sexy~!

Shinji: I'm still here…

Q: Anyways, one of my readers asked you a question… *Silence*

Shinji: Well?

Q: *Smirks* I think we all want to know this one…. ABlast4 asks: Do you like Hiyori?

Shinji: *Gapes* NO!

Q: So you do?

Shinji: NO I DON'T

Q: Then why are you yelling?

Shinji: Brat.

Q: *Glares* Oh, no you didn't!

Case Shinji Conclusion: Too damn annoying! And full of himself! And unwilling to listen to requests!

Shinji: … You forgot stubborn.

Q: *Glares at the editor*

Editor: *Pales*

Case Shinji Conclusion 2: Too freaking stubborn. And talks to my editor too much.

NOTE TO SELF: Get new Editor.

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**And the next candidate is... Kyouraku Shunsui! WooT! Anyways, R&R :D (Thanks again to Ablast4 for submitting a question...)**


	6. Case 5: Shunsui Kyouraku

**Well, hello peepz! Here we go again, and this time with Kyouraku Shunsui! Our next victim *cough* I mean guest will be announced at the end of the... um... Whatchamacallit. Sooo um, enjoy.**

**Bleach (C) to Tite Kubo**

**R&R!**

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Search for a Candidate Case 5: Kyouraku Shunsui

Q: Well, hello folks, sorry for the delay, but here we are again! I know that I haven't been on in a while, and the truth is-

Editor: Enough preaching.

Q: I'm not preaching.

Editor: *sighs* yes you are

Q:… I thought I paid editors to be quiet and edit out all my mistakes.

Editor: I-

Q: Shut up.

Kyouraku: Oh, come on, young lady-

Q: WHO ARE YOU CALLING YOUNG *Turns around* You- *Notices him and practically dies*Kyouraku-taichou!

Editor: I thought we made it clear we weren't doing honorifics?

Q: *ignores* Kyouraku-taichou! *squeals* You actually came!

Kyouraku: Of course *Looks closer at Q*… But my, your pretty beautiful up close, Q-chan

Q: I know! *Giggles flirtatiously*

Gin: Stay away from mah Q

Q: GIN *Dies*

Editor: This wasn't scheduled… (Note to audience: Editor is also known as the manager)

Gin: I jus' wanted ta pop in.

Kyouraku: But Q-chan is so pretty. *Q-Q*

Q: *Melts* Kyouraku-taichou! You are soooooooo sweet! *Giggles*

Gin: *Smiles creepily*

Q: *Dies*

Editor: *Frowns*

Kyouraku: *Gapes*

Q: *Comes back to life and jumps up and down* THE SMILE!

Kyouraku: I thought this was supposed to be about me…

Editor: So did I *Raises up her/his hand*

Q: *Glares at the editor* Be quiet! Besides, my target word count is 500 this time so I gotta work for it!

Gin: *Leaves suddenly*

Q: NOOO *Cries*

Kyouraku: There, there…. *Hugs*

Nanao: Stop harassing little girls! *Whacks him*

Q: *Glares* I'm not a little girl!

Kyouraku: Poor Q-chan.

Q: Now for the questions… Well, here goes… Why do you always skip out on work?

Kyouraku: Sake and woman!

Q: … That was surprisingly predictable.

Kyouraku: Oh, Q-chan, Nanao is so mean to me when we're working *Cries*

Q: AWWW! Nanao you meanie!

Nanao: *Pushes up glasses*I should leave… *Awkwardly pats Kyouraku on the head and then leaves*

Kyouraku: NANAO! *Bawls*

Q: *Ahem* Kyourak-taichou, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?

Kyouraku: *Freezes*

Q: ?

Kyouraku: Oh, you know, I've had so many lately I don't even remember! *Lying*

Q: So… None?

Kyouraku: *Coughs uncomfortably* Next question…

Q: What's your favorite color?

Kyouraku: Pink!

Q: Are all the stories about you and Ukitake-taichou true?

Kyouraku: What stories?

Q: …. Um, you know…

Kyouraku: What?

Q: That… *mumbles* You and him are…

Kyouraku: Are what? *Confused*

Q: *Coughs and says something*

Kyouraku: …. Of course they're true!

Q: *Jaw drops* YOUR HAVING SEX WITH JUSHIRO!

Kyouraku:WHAT!

Editor: Q!

Q: *Dies in a corner* It's true… *Fangirl Fantasies*

Kyouraku: WHAT?

**Case Kyouraku Conclusion**: Very clueless…

Kyouraku: Who made that story up?

Q: You just said it was true…

Editor: Q, stop being rude!

Q: *Glares* I don't pay you to talk in my stories!

Editor: You don't pay me.

Kyouraku: … *Very confused*

**Case Kyouraku Conclusion 2:** HE'S HAVING SEX WITH JUSHIRO! Eep now we got some dirt! *Evil laugh*

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**Well, just to let you all know, I DID reach my word goal... I got 629 without the a/n so WOOT! XD Well, to meet the demand, the next person is going to be...**

**BYAKUYA! YAY time to torture Mr. Stick-up-his-ass! Please, review with any potential embarassing situations (and/or evil comments and names) to call him... Oh, and don't forget to tell me who you want to see next!**


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